First of all, I want to say that I love it when girls ask out guys, mainly because it forces them to see how difficult it actually is for us. Every girl should try it.
Two problems though.
The first problem is that girls think because they went through the nerve-wracking process of putting themselves out there and asking a guy out, that the guy should like them for it. After asking a few guys out and not getting any results, the asking girl decides that it is a bad strategy that scares guys away. Not exactly true. If guys had that attitude then none of us would have dates this weekend.
The second problem is a little more complicated, but let me break it down real nice for you. For guys, girls fall into two main groups: girls he can be interested in and girls he thinks he will never be interested. The average guy in an average ward puts about a 1/3 of the girls in the “could be interested” group and the rest in the “never interested group”. Now with that 1/3 he is getting their numbers, flirting, asking them on dates, admiring from a far, stealing locks of their hair, and that sort of thing. Of course, he won’t be asking out all them because of a lack of opportunity, confidence, time, money, or information, but several from that group will be asked out. With the 2/3 group he is either just friends with them or ignores them. Sadly it is difficult to move between the groups.
What does this have to do with girls asking out guys? If a girl asks a guy out and she is in that guy’s 1/3, then happy day, all is right. He will know she is at least somewhat interested, and he will pursue her. It will speed up the process nicely.
If on the other hand the girl asks out a guy and she is in the “never interested” group, then sad day, all is not right. He will not pursue her. Even worse, if they were friends before, there is a chance he will distance himself from her.
Here’s the rub, if you are asking out a guy that has not already asked you out, then chances are you are in his 2/3 group, statistically speaking. Even worse, most girls are not going out on a limb to ask out just some average guy. They are putting in all the effort for an above average guy and above average guys might be even more selective. Their “could be interested” group might be 1/4 or smaller.
- Asking a guy out will not make him like you.
- If you want to take control of your life and ask out guys, then kudos to you! It will speed things up and possibly change you from a girl that he “could be interested in” into a girl he “is interested in”. Just don’t expect it to work every time, or even most times.
- If you do ask a guy on a date, do not do it again until he reciprocates. If he is interested and available he will ask you out. If he doesn’t reciprocate, then you can be 100% sure he just isn’t interested.
- The whole “guys like a chase” bit is irrelevant and not always true. There is plenty of time for him to chase you after the first date.
- It’s hard to ask someone out, it’s even harder to continue doing it after several unsuccessful attempts.