Saturday, January 12, 2013

Ward Draft



A new semester, a new ward and most importantly, a new crop of girls. For most of us male Mormons, this is when hope peaks. We see all the cute girls and think we have all kinds of possibilities. This optimism slowly dies as all our possibilities are discovered to have boyfriends, mission calls and/or “the crazies”. It’s a sad cycle that happens every time, but let’s not think about that. Right now the field seems to be white (not much racial diversity) and ready to harvest. 

The problem is who gets to harvest who. Many apartments are torn apart due to love triangles, but not my apartment. We have developed a simple system to distribute the “opportunities”, The Ward Draft.
The rules are as follows:

  1. Every girl in the ward is eligible to be drafted.
  2. The order of the first round goes from oldest to youngest roommate (the oldest guys need the most help), thereafter it follows the classic snake pattern. 
  3.  Engaged roommates are not allowed to participate not matter how much they protest.
  4. Once someone drafts a girl he has 2 weeks to ask her out, if he fails to ask her out she goes on the waiver wire.
  5. Undrafted girls are free agents.
  6. After 3 dates with a girl, that roommate must explicitly release girl and then she goes to the waiver wire.
  7. Oldest roommate starts with top waiver priority, once you claim someone you go to the bottom of the priority list.
  8. Girls stay on waiver wire for 2 days before become free agents.
  9. Only 2 rounds of drafting.
  10. Our roommate Speedy Gonzales does not get to draft because he is never here and we don’t want to explain the rules to our Ecuadorian friend (I don’t know how the draft works in futbol). Besides he probably is going after different girls anyways.
I just finished prepping the Google doc to keep track of all this haha. Let the games begin!


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