Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Date Rate

Have you ever gone on a date with someone totally clueless? And have you ever wanted to tell your date exactly what they were doing wrong but you couldn't because of silly "social norms" or nonsense like that. Well good new! Now you can!

You just fill out one of these bad boys immediately afterwards and send it to your date. Personally, I love getting feedback and improving myself (I will be handing these out after all my dates). Let us all help fight clueless dating together!



Date Rate Form
Your Date’s Name:

              



First Impression:

Please Circle One For Each Criteria

Worst                                                                                     Best                
Length
1
Marathon (please-kill-me-know) 43 hours long date
2
3
4
5
Not too long,  Not too short,
 Just right
Dress
1
Looked like a homeless clown (but not in a cute
hipster way)
2
3
4
5
Insert name of very fashionable celebrity of your choice
Hygiene
1
Medieval peasants probably bathed more than them
2
3
4
5
Their body was clean enough to eat off of
Smell
1
Smelt like a used diaper filled with Indian food.
2
3
4
5
So delicious, you wanted to jump their bones
Suggest your personal favorite cologne/perfume:
Conversation
1
Literally did not speak the same language
2
3
4
5
Literally skipped the meal and activity to just talk until 4 A.M.
Humor
1
Uhh not funny
2
3
4
5
Almost as funny as the creator of this form
Activity
1
Water boarding
2
3
4
5
The opposite of waterboarding
Manners
Please check any mistakes that apply:
__ Didn’t open your door
__ Opened your door but you are a male and/or a feminist
__ Called you a fine piece of A$%
__ Didn’t say please and thank you
__ Was late
__ Didn’t walk in between you and traffic, except when crossing the street when that is physically notimpossible not to do

Kissing (if applicable)
1
Like kissing your mom, if she were a Saint Bernard
2
3
4
5
It was like the 4th July in your mouth
Please check any mistake that applies:
__ Too much tongue
__ Not enough tongue
__ Too Open
__ Too Closed
__ Too Stiff
__ Too much grunting
__ Overly aggressive wandering hands
__ Not enough wandering hands
Other turn-ons:

Other turn-offs:

Overall impression:

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I have some feedback for you, stop writing such chauvinist drivel. Thanks!