Monday, April 8, 2013

My 5 Simple Rules For Blind Dates

This semester I've seriously had a new blind date proposed to me every week. It is like everyone gave me four months of being single and now they are falling all over themselves trying to get me hitched. Roommates, aunts, cousins, single lady friends, married friends, single male co-workers, everybody wants to play matchmaker. Really they are just trying to help and I can’t complain, but I can have some ground rules.

My rules for blind dates:
  1. I have to check the girl out on Facebook to make sure I could potentially be attracted to her. It just saves everyone time and honestly this as far as a lot of potential dates get. No offense, but pretty much ever girl thinks their roommates are “super cute”. Well, hate to break it to you, but many times I do not agree.
  2. I also want the girl to get a look at me on Facebook before agreeing to the date (I’m all about gender equality). If the girl doesn’t like what she sees (and she always likes what she sees) then I would prefer she bow out.
  3. I generally don’t accept blind date recommendations from fellow bachelors. If this girl is so great why aren’t they pursuing her? Personally when I know a cute awesome single girl, I’m not giving out her number to my guy friends. I’m keeping that crap to myself. It's the crazy girls whose numbers I give out. (No judging, its every man for himself out here)
  4. No expectations are allowed. I hate having to explain to the matchmaker that although their niece/roommate/old mission companion/co-worker/daughter is a very sweet girl, I am not interested in dating them. It’s just awkward.
  5. If the door opens and she is wearing suspenders, the date is over. I actually did go on a blind date with a girl wearing suspenders, its an experience I hope to never repeat. Hence the rule.
  6. Unless it is really really good date, I’m not asking her out again. It’s just hard to keep something going with a blind date, so I usually won’t put in the extra effort.
Despite all these rules, I still go on an occasional blind date, if only so I don’t end up like this guy.

 You should probably stop watching at the 1:10 mark, just trust me on this one.


Carlie said...

I disagree, the seconds past the 1:10 mark were the best. I hope you don't en up like this guy either. Also, what's wrong with suspenders...?

Anonymous said...

I can't believe anyone would set you up with their friends or relatives if they knew you were writing stuff like this.

Elizabeth Downie said...

I agree with number 4 completely. The worst part of being set up is having to tell the people who set you up that you're not interested in their friend/niece/cousin, etc....

Anonymous said...

Good post. I laughed out loud. I just hope one of those girls moon light as a psychiatrist so he can get what he really needs.

7julieh said...

Good points, although I don't know if I agree with you calling girls you're interested in "that crap" (I'm keeping that crap to myself).