Sunday, April 14, 2013

Unripe Strawberries Or Why Freshmen Girls?

I went on a blind date last night (the anticipation of which was the inspiration for my last post). I would give the date a solid B-. She was super cute and outgoing -- both good things on a date. Unfortunately it quickly became clear that we were not on the same maturity level, which makes it sound like she made crude jokes while I rolled me eyes haha. If anything it was the opposite, she seemed so naïve and innocent, too naïve and innocent. I like my girls more sophisticated and experienced. Of course halfway through the date I discover she is a freshman. Well that explains things. 

This date reminded me of a major problem at BYU that I have heard so many girls complain and ask about. Namely, “Why do some many guys date freshmen girls (a.k.a. any girl younger than me)?” 20 year-old juniors complain about the 18 year-old freshman girls, the 25yr-olds complains about 21 year-old girls, and so on. Deep down I think every girl asking the question knows the answer, it’s just a little brutal and they want a different answer.  I will explain, but if you don’t want to know, stop reading.

Basically it comes down to the fact that younger girls are cuter on average. Or more exactly, there are more young single cute girls than older single cute girls. Which makes sense right? Generally, the more attractive you are, the more you will be pursued, and the more you are pursued, the more likely you are to find someone suitable and settle down. That is just a sad fact of life, especially for girls. Sorry ladies. 

So where as maybe 90% of cute girls are available when they start as freshmen, each year that percentage drops dramatically. A guy finds a girl attractive, makes sure she’s single, and then attacks. It just so happens that a large portion of those attacked single attractive girls are younger. 

It creates this horrible situation. For example, my family has a garden and one year we planted strawberries.  Someone, (I swear my little sister), started eating the strawberries before they were fully ripe. My dad was enraged and told everyone to wait till they were ripe. The next day more strawberries were gone; my two brothers had jumped on the unripe-strawberry-eating-bandwagon. Now at this point, there were barely any strawberries left! What did I do? I scarfed those puppies down while I still had the chance. 

Were the unripe strawberries very good? No. Was it better than not eating any strawberries? HALES YES! My dad, the total sucker, was of course pissed that he didn’t get any. 

What I am trying to say is, there is a lot of unripe strawberry eating going on at BYU, but no one wants to be the sucker that didn’t get any / dies alone. 

Other factors that contribute to the problem:

  • Freshmen girls are soooo easy to impress, it’s like they don’t know enough to figure out if we are losers or not haha.
  • The lack of emotional baggage is kinda refreshing. Older girls carry all their past relationships with them, creating new rules and requirements after each their break-ups. It can make a girl really picky and emotionally hung up.

All that being said, I personally never (knowingly) ask out freshwomen, and I much prefer having a relationship with a smart, capable and more mature strawberry. Many guys I know are the same way. We are, after all, well aware of the stigma attached to dating freshies. The problem is we are only going to ask out girls we find attractive, so unless they come out during the next general conference saying that no girls can get married until they are 25, the problem will persist.


Elizabeth Downie said...

WOW. So, I have tried to have a sense of humor about this blog and not be offended, but this post is incredibly hurtful and ridiculous. Guys don't just date younger girls because they are cuter, they date them because they are less of a challenge.

And yes, this comment is coming from someone who is over 30 and single, so go ahead and dismiss it from that fact alone. It's really insulting for you to say that the older we single women get, the less attractive we are.

It's also just so one sided, which makes sense since you're a guy. But seriously, you think the older the single guy is, the BETTER he gets? Nope. But do you see us older women asking out guys ten years younger than us? Not usually. And not because we can't. I'm not trying to brag, but I get asked out by guys 10+ years younger than me all the time and I say NO 99% of the time. (I said yes once, it was a huge mistake and I will never do it again.)

I think the one word you could have used to explain why guys ask out girls so much younger than them is "shallow" then you could have just been done with it.

Anonymous said...

Well I know enough to be able to tell that you are a loser.

7julieh said...

Well this is certaintly a unique perspective. As a girl at BYU who just finished her freshman year, I found this to be an interesting read. One angle you did not consider is that many freshman girls are intiminated by dating RMs. Our mothers warn us about dating older guys who only have marriage in their minds and who want to commit fast. Freshman year is about growing, discovering who you are, and casual dating. To be honest though, myself and many freshman girls feel as if dating boys pre-mission is a waste of time. Sure, they make great friends and are fun to go out on dates with, but often are immature and can offer us zero commitment due to their mission. Thus, there are exceptions to you rule. I agree that the majority of freshman girls are immature compared to others, and that does hold a certain allure for some older guys. True, we have less history and are easier to please. Before you pat yourself on the back, however, consider how we feel. As a freshman who lived off-campus I couldn't wait to come to college and meet guys with my same standards. I quickly found, however, that guys were not interested in dating an 18-year-old, regardless of my level of maturity or desire to just date casually. In many cases, if a guy is attracted to the girl, it won't matter how old she is. There are others however, that are intiminated by my age, and have a rule against dating freshman girls. It goes both ways.

Anonymous said...

I'm a BYU guy and I agree 100% with this blog post. There really are more cute available girls among the young ones than among the older ones. Many of the cute older ones are now taken or married, whereas many of the cute younger ones haven't been taken yet. Younger girls bring less baggage on average than older girls as well. This post may sound as shallow to older girls that are affected by it, but the guy speaks truth from the perspective of a guy. This won't be mentioned much at church because it would hurt a lot of girls (kinda like how many girls won't explain to a guy why they don't like him in order to not hurt his feelings) and the leaders may get upset, but it's the truth, and I'm glad that a guy finally came out and said it so explicitly.