Sunday, May 12, 2013

Confessions #2 through #4

Confession: I like it when I go to pick a girl for a date and she is still getting ready. It just reminds me she is putting effort into looking good. As long as it doesn’t take 20 like minutes, that’s pushing it. I can only awkwardly wait for so long in the front room with her dateless roommate as she watches Downton Abbey and slams a carton of ice cream while Facebook stalking her crush.

Confession: When a girl tells me she is a little dramatic, I never know if A) she is dramatic compared to other girls, in which case she is probably straight up crazy and I should start running now, or B) they are a little dramatic compared to a logical person, in which case they are probably more self aware and less dramatic than the typical college girl (Me Gusto).  

Probably A right? Give me a sec to stretch. 

Confession: Sometimes I get really annoyed during sacrament meetings. I did a scientific count and I swear 75.3% of the testimony bearers opened with some variation of the line “My life is really hard right now”. I been having a really hard week, or school has been really tough and I am having trouble with a friend. I sometimes forget if I am at a prison camp or a college with all these miserable lives. Buck up children! I don’t know what’s worse, the ubiquitous and boring general lamentations or the rare very specific and detailed ones e.g. “Sarah, yeah the blonde there on the second row, canceled our wedding and broke my heart!  All because she thinks I’m not sensitive enough. The whore!”

After a string of 4 or 5 of them it makes me want to go up there and proclaim how great my life is (and wink at Sarah on my way back to my seat).

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