A common problem for men goes like this: You meet a group of girls, a few of them seem cute and normal (aka have date potential), the group turns out to be all roommates, and you can’t decide which one to ask out. We generally assume that we have one shot per apartment. Why? Because as soon as we ask out one girl, that is pretty much telling the world that she was our first choice. Turning around and asking out another roommate could be seen as signaling that she was our less desired second choice (even if that is not the case).
The flip side is that we often don’t know at this stage what the girls are thinking. Maybe I am equally interested in Roommate A and Roommate B, but only Roommate B and Roommate C are open to my advances. If I, heaven forbid, ask out Roommate A first its game over. Over maybe I ask out Roommate B first, but then discover the Roommate C is more my type. Perhaps Roommate C will reject me out of respect for Roommate B who is smitten with me (totally understandable). The complications are endless.
A possible solution is to hang out with the entire apartment for an extended amount of time. Thereby allowing me to gain enough information to 1) know which one girl if any, that I am truly interested in and 2) suss out which girl is interested in me (usually all of them).
Alas, this is not a perfect fix either. First of all we have been encouraged not to spend so much time hanging out. Secondly, in Provo especially it is important to ask out girls and stake out your claim early. If you wait 2 months to figure everything out, she just might be into her 8th week of her engagement (and not to you) by the time you ask her out. It’s like Black Friday out there- things get crazy!
Usually I just arbitrarily pick one and ask her out. If I am not super impressed after the first date, I think really hard about whether I should give her another chance or cut things off now in hopes of asking out her roommate later down the road. I figure if I just go on one date with a girl and it never get physical or too serious, then I can possibly ask out her roommate after giving it a few weeks to settle.
In my current situation, I only went on one date with Brownie girl, and although we regrettably kissed, that was like a month ago. I think she has a new boyfriend, and her current roommate (who I am interested in) wasn’t even living in Utah when that first date took place.
So with that justification in my mind, I proceeded to flirt a little with the Roommate. You know, test the waters. And let me tell you the waters felt fine. I took this to mean that either 1) the Roommate doesn’t know about the previous liaison between Brownie and I, 2) the Roommate and the Brownie don’t like each other and she is using me or 3) Brownie has moved on and it is no big deal.
Regardless, I have a date with the Roommate this weekend. Boo-yah!