Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Confession #15: I Hate Games

I hate games. And no, I'm not taking about the little mind games that happen during dating. I'm talking about "Apples to Apples". Yes, "Apples to Apples" and "Do you love your neighbor?" and "Taboo" and all that crap.


1. Ubiquity- At a ward activity, house party, family reunion, crowded bathroom? "Hey everyone, let's play a game!" Let's not. Can we not just sit and have a conversation like normal freaking adults? Is that too much to ask. An occasional game would be fine, but its like at every social function and I am sick of it. How am I suppose to flirt with Stacy and get her number if I every time I go to her apartment I get am stuck on the opposite end of a circle of 20 people people waiting to get passed a beeping device and trying to catch a phrase? Riddle me that.

2. Mindlessness- Some games are just completely stupid. For example, in Apples to Apple the way to win is either totally arbitrary or just dependent on some lame inside joke that Stacy and Rachel have about smelly elephants that is in no way funny for the 18 other people playing. I remember another ward activity where we played a game (whose name I did not do the honor of remembering) where everyone just takes turns rolls dice a million times and records the numbers- that's it. Who ever has the highest total wins or something stupid like that. It was the most mindless thing I have ever "played". I wanted to slap the people who were having fun. Why didn't we just each roll once and see who won, that would have save us an hour's worth of brain cells.

3. Competition-Games bring out the competitive side in people, and sometimes that's not a good look. I don't want to start a game, because I know if I do, then I will want to win. When I want to win, I will get super intense and cut-throat, I will straight up tell Stacy she is a "cow" just to distract and make me win. Oh I play dirty. And I'm such a sore loser. All petty and sullen afterward, its horrible.

4. Obnoxiousness escalation- We have all been to those get-togethers where everyone is playing some game and there are those few guys that are just starving for attention. They yell out increasingly loud and bizarre suggestions or more and more animated actions. Next thing you know its escalated into a zany 8th grade Drama class up in the joint.

And yes, I wrote this whole post in response to losing in Apples to Apples at FHE, what of it?

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Conversation Skills

The game is up. It took 3 weeks and 3 dates, but yesterday Opera finally told me about her mission plans (I acted surprised haha). To a degree, I expected everything to fall apart after that. Instead it’s like nothing changed. We still talk for hours on end every night.

The problem is, despite my self-preservation instincts telling me to make a run for it, I just like talking to her too much. 

This has caused me to make a list of attributes that I find make a girl most attractive conversation-wise:

  • Has an interesting skill/hobby/passion. (Especially early on, it gives the girl something interesting to teach me, and it gives me something distinctive to joke about/make fun of)
  • Mental nimbleness (It’s super annoying when the girl gets lost in the conversation because she can’t make the connection between so something as simple as whales and hounds (they can both be grey, duh))
  • Well-read (Few things are more impressive to me than when a girl gets my obscure literary references. 10 bonus points to whoever can tell me where the quote “Where are the Snowdens of yesteryear?” comes from. (and no it has nothing to do with Edward))
  • A sense of humor (a.k.a. thinks I’m funny, and honestly who doesn’t?)
  • Can actually discuss stuff (This is actually so rare: some people insist on turning everything into an awkward emotional illogical debate, while others refuse to actually think or talk about anything in depth.)
  • Speaks both Italian (although I’ll take Latin as a substitute, its close enough) and Chinese (but only Mandarin, get that weak sauce Cantonese out of here)

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Confession #14: The Uglier Sister

I couldn't date Pippa, despite all her advances on me

This one is simple, if a girl has a sister who I find more attractive than said girl, I can't date the girl.

Even if they are both cute, as long as one is appreciably cuter, I will not date the uglier one. Back home I very close to a family with three daughters - one around my age, one older, and one younger. All three are adorable. Unfortunately the middle one (my age range) is the least pretty, but still very pretty. The oldest one is married, and the youngest one is too young for me to ever consider dating, but I just couldn't go after the middle one.

Sisters usually look similar, and the last thing I want to deal with every Thanksgiving and Christmas is a better looking version of my wife running around taunting me. No thanks.

Monday, August 19, 2013

Getting Some Stuff Off My Chest


I went on another date with Opera, which might seem hypocritical or disingenuous considering how I 1) just complained against girls that act as Opera has and 2) know she is leaving on a mission. But at the same time, it has turned into this fun game of “How long will it take for Opera to spill the beans?”  So this past Saturday I took her on a quick day date (I’m not a fan of day dates, but it was an unusual situation). I was half hoping for it to be a bad awkward date, but alas it was great again. -sigh-

Funny thing though, her going on a mission never came up once. Nor did it come up in any of our text conversations all throughout the week. Last night, we started talking after ward prayer, and we may or may not have talked for 4 hours straight until 1a.m. Still nothing. 

It’s getting ridiculous now. I am so tempted to ask her point blank if she is going, or even tell her that I know she is going. But that would ruin all the fun. I kind of hope she’s agonizing over it. Is that bad haha? 

You want to know what’s really bad? Last semester, I was talking to an old friend of mine, a girl who was about to leave on a mission, and she was telling me that she feels like she is putting her life on hold while all her friends are graduating, marrying, having children, and generally moving on without her. “It’s like all my friends will be gone by the time I get back” cried she.  NO FAKE JAKE. Everyone isn’t going into cryogenic sleep chambers not to be awakened until you return. Hate to burst your bubble. Many of the people you hang out with will no longer be available to hang out when you get. Almost all the boys in your current pool will be gone when you get back (and in this case you’re even more screwed because when you get back there will be a flood of girls returning with you). Just the fact that she was so depressed by this thought a mere week before she left struck me as odd (Buyer’s Remorse?) She should have known and accepted this way before she put in her papers.

That’s the other problem with this new trend for girls going on missions. For so many it’s just a trend, the cool thing to do. I honestly believe for a good number of girls, it is exactly the “well everyone else is doing it” thing. It seems exciting, fun, cool. I wanted to punch myself in the face when all the “OMG I just got called to the Boise, Idaho mission hahahaha #soblessed #godsarmy”  posts flooded my FB news feed.

Bitter much? Yes, very bitter.
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