Sunday, September 1, 2013

The Old New Ward Drill

Ahhhhhh's the that time again. New ward and new hopes. Isn't the first Sunday in the new ward awesome and terrible at the same time? Does anyone have a spiritual experience their first week in a singles ward? There is so much rubbernecking going from all scoping out of all the potential dating prospects, and people don't even try to be discrete about it. Distracting. Its like waiting and finally seeing what hand you were dealt in a high stakes game of Poker (or Scum if you don't know what Poker is haha). Here its is. This is what you have to work with.

People always ask me, "how's the ward?" and I sure hope they know that 90% of how I (everyone else if they are honest) judge a singles ward is based on what the dating prospects are like in that ward. If its overflowing with hotties, I'm going to say the ward is great (and my attendance to church and activities is going to be stellar). If its one of those more aesthetically challenged wards, then I going to say its not great. Its is the main thing that differentiates singles wards. Honestly, my spirituality is my responsibility, and I can religiously have a great experience at any BYU ward. Every ward is going to have the bitter self-righteous girls, the over eager recent RM's, the creepy guy, the semi-active bros, the young naive ditzy girls, but getting that extra apartment or two of cute girls can make or break a semester.

Of course, the first Sunday also inevitably becomes a big flirt fest, with everyone jockeying for position to stake their claim for the cutest girls/guys (Its like 17th century Africa up in the joint, straight up land grab). Which is fine, I can flirt with the best of them, but I just hate how within 3 weeks there will be 10 new couples formed. I like to get to know the field and observe before jumping in head first. Unfortunately that is not an option at BYU, you got to act fast! You don't want to be the only one left standing in this game of social musical chairs. Cute Suzy Q is flirting with you this week, but by next week she could be snogging with Johnny from next door. Oh well, Suzy is a floozie anyways. Screw Suzy.

1 comment:

Elizabeth Downie said...

You just reminded me why I am sooooooooooooooo glad I'm no longer in a singles ward.