Sunday, November 24, 2013

Why I Like Having Female Friends, But Can't Have Them

I really cherish my female friends. Especially right now while I am single. There are some great things about a girl's company that I don’t get in my largely male dominated major, job, and apartment. Specifically there are two reasons why I love to talking to girls:

  • Very different perspective on things. Honestly this blog is called the MALE mormon mind, but I find the female mind fascinating.
  • Empathy and caring you just don't get from dudes. I could certainly share my vulnerabilities and insecurities (I actually have no vulnerabilities or insecurities, so this is more of a hypothetical situation) with my bronies, but my bronies would at very least be weirded out and would be very likely to laugh at me. And that's fine. Whereas girls seem to love a well-placed confession of vulnerability (not that I would know cuz I've never had any such thing to confess).

Despite all the value I place on having lady friends, I have almost zero close lady friends. Why? I blame my rugged good looks and charm.....But really I do. I have a bad habit of making all my female friends fall violently in love with me. It’s horrible. I had put my foot down and stop having close females friends. It was all I could do to protect them from my awesomeness. It is a sad sacrifice, but I had to do it.

I'm only like 90% kidding; it really is a problem for me at BYU. No one is content with being friends here. Heck I wouldn't be content with being just friends. Everyone has probably already seen that video made by the USU peeps, and the BYU semi parody, but ever since high school, I've had the theory that it is impossible for people of the opposite sex to be super close friends and just friends where both parties are content not wanting anything more, with a few exceptions:

  1. If one or both are gay
  2. If you are related
  3. If someone is already taken (e.g. my sister-in-law, or my friend's girlfriend)
  4. If there is a large enough age gap
  5. If there is some other thing that excludes them from romantic consideration.
  6. If both people think the other is extremely ugly, and I mean butt-ugly.

In almost any other case, you might get away with it for a while, but eventually feeling always develop and bam! You're in Sucksforeveryoneville.

Currently my best lady friend is not LDS and it kind of has to be that way. Even though she is gorgeous, brilliant, and one of the coolest people I know, the fact that we have the major religion gap excludes us from each other’s dating pools. Besides that, it’s pretty much just the girlfriends of roommates and the wives of ex-roommates (who are awesome of course) to get me by. Kind of sad, but necessary.

Speaking of sad there is this video below. It’s a sad song with an adorable video. It has almost nothing to do with this post, but the lunch box the guy has at the 1:24 mark is dope.

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