Sunday, December 29, 2013

Feeding Squirrels or Why Provo Girls Are Passive In Dating

A male reader sent me an email a few weeks ago that I included below (selectively edited to make it more succinct and more in line with the points I want to make):

I am currently a student in Provo, and I am very active in my dating life. I go on about 3 (dates) a week ........This is NOT easy......... I am from California, and the girls act different over there. What I don't understand is why women (here) don't ever have the guts to approach guys first. Why do I have to be the one to initiate every conversation? Are they that insecure about themselves that they couldn't handle the rejection?........ I'm just getting gassed out.......It's almost like very girl around here has decided that destiny says that Eternal Prince Charming is going to find them, talk to them, get their number, text them first, call them first, make all the dating plans, and then pay for it, and there is nothing that they are ever going to have to do in order to make it happen...
Sick of Mormon Girls
Oh ladies I have one word for you: BURN!!!!

Just kidding. Chill out, CHILLLL OUT!!! The social timidity of girls in Provo is easily explained, Mr. SickofMomornGirls almost answers his own question in the email. Before we go there though, I have to admit, the idea of hot girls coming up to me and getting my number (more that they already do) does sound pretty amazing. Almost as amazing as whatever this Korean guy is about to eat:

Epic Korean man loves his food animated gif

Mmmmmm Korean food. Anyways, why don't Provo girls ever take the initiative in all this stuff? Because as Mr.SickofMomogirls points out, initiating all that stuff "is NOT easy". Plus Mr.SOMG and thousands of other boys in Provo are very active in their dating lives and doing all the initiating (which of course is just following orders we hear at every dating fireside).

You see, girls like squirrels. I mean, girls are like squirrels.  If you start feeding a squirrel nuts, its not going to bother getting its own nuts. Because gathering nuts is no walk in the park (did you know the reason parks are full of squirrels is because it was fashionable in the 1800's to stock parks with squirrels for entertainment purposes? Bust out that nugget on your next date) So these squirrels/girls lose their ability to to gather their own nuts and we are enabling them! Its un-democratic!

There it Is

In summary, initiating all the dating stuff is hard and because there are scores of boys willing to initiate everything for girls, they have little incentive to initiate anything themselves. Generally the only reason girls would aggressively initiate anything is if they are desperate, but of course if Mr. Somg is anything like me, he is not after these desperate ones. He wants the girls that are already getting asked out fairly often (the fed squirrels). The girls not getting asked on dates are also less likely to get a positive result from their aggression. Which of course leads them to believe that aggression is a bad idea.

So either a girl gets asked on plenty dates and doesn't need to do the initiating, or she doesn't get asked out much and is under the impression that aggressive initiating doesn't work.

Mr. Sick of Mormon Girls, don't look now, but it appears you are up a creek. In related news, I have a Swedish friend who is a total knockout (way to reinforce stereotypes right?) and she says that in Sweden the girls are the aggressors. So there's that.

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