Sunday, May 18, 2014

Hungry But Nothing To Eat

You know when you get hungry and you go to the fridge and stare inside for a few minutes before deciding you don't have anything to eat. So you go back to whatever you were doing before. And then 10 minutes later you are back in the kitchen looking for food, but again find nothing. Yeah that's how I feel about my ward right now.

Long story short, I got nothing.

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Actor-Observer Bias and First Dates

Something I have been thinking about a lot lately: Actor-observer bias.

Basically the idea behind Actor-observer bias (and I apologize to any Psych majors if I butcher the explanation) is that when you observe someone do something, you are more likely to attribute their actions to their personality. But when you do something, you are more likely to attribute your actions to your circumstances.

For example, if you are driving and someone speeds past you, your first thought is likely to be that they are a rude reckless driver. Whereas if you speed past someone, you are more likely to think its an emergency or you are late and that the circumstance is causing you to drive faster. But it would unlikely for you to think that someone else speeding past you must be really late or have an emergency that is causing them to speed. Ya follow?

Applying this to my life, I think I am single right now because I have been unlucky (aka my circumstances), while others might think I am too picky/like to go after girls who are bonkers (aka my personality).

Where I think this concept is even more powerful: First dates

Think about it, you might not know anything about your date's personality before the date, and one of the main reasons you went on the date is to get to know their personality. So, every little thing you do or your date does, will of course be attributed to your or their personality. She takes a little longer getting ready than I expect = she's high-maintenance, she doesn't get one of my jokes = she has no sense of humor, she trips while walking = she's clumsy or possibly Jennifer Lawrence.  I have a stain on my shirt = I'm a slob, I forget to open her car door once = I'm not a gentleman, I punch the waitress in the face = I'm suddenly a jerk. And all kinds of other ridiculous conclusions.

Not only that, but first dates are often awkward/stressful/high pressure situations (its enough to drive a man to punch his waitress in the face). They actually are a circumstance that could very well make people act differently than their true personalities.

The solution of course would be for everyone to give their date the benefit of the doubt and not jump to conclusions, but let's get real, no one is doing that unless their date is a certified hottie. Certified hotties (or "Smoke Shows" as my roommate lovingly calls them), they get the benefit of the doubt.

Sunday, May 4, 2014

Killing Them Softly

Now that I am back on the market, the natives are getting restless. And by that mixed metaphor, I mean that some girls are flirting me up pretty hardcore now that word has traveled that I am single. Maybe word has not traveled so much as people can plainly see the girl I was previously kinda dating is now scratching the back of another dude during Sacrament (should have been my back getting scratched!) and Sunday school (Okay that's just overkill) and Priesthood (Who let her in here?). Okay, so that Priesthood one is a lie.

Anyways these girls are trying to rebound me! Bless their hearts. And they are great girls, they really are. They deserve to be dated the heck out of. The problem is, I have no interest in them. I will not be dating anything out of them, much less the heck out of them. Part of it is that I just don't have a ton of trust in humans with boobs right now (Love you mom!). I was shafted by the last one I got close too. It is a little tempting to hook up with a girl for a self-confidence booster reasons or date a girl just to show that I moved on. But that would be stupid and unfair.

So what to do with all these poor girls touching my upper arm and laughing way to hard at my jokes. They have some budding hope that I will sweep them off their feet. But I will kill that hope, kill it softly, before it can grow. The other option is to not kill the hope and let it kinda half grow as I slowly friend zone them, but that's cruel and I hate doing that to another person. Or I could kill it harshly by being super mean and telling them directly to buzz off. That would also be cruel.

Instead I will ignore them, as nicely as possible.

ron swanson animated GIF

It will take a little bit, but slowly the hope will die, it always does. Its the most humane way to do it (you could say its the lethal injection of romantic hope killers (unless you are from Oklahoma)). I have found that at this stage it is the best way not to hurt peoples feelings and self-confidence. Sad but true.