Sunday, September 7, 2014

The 5 Artificial Flavorings Of Dating

Artificial flavoring makes food taste better than it normally would. I'm guessing this is of vegetarians survive. As with food, dating also has factors that make people seem more desirable than they really are. Have you ever gotten super excited about someone, only for you to be totally not interested a few weeks later or whenever you really got to know them? Good chance there was some artificial flavoring involved.

Without further ado, a list of 5 common artificial flavorings:

1. Newness - Who doesn't like that new car smell! For me, a brand new girl in the ward gets a 50% boost in hotness just by virtue of being new (with rapidly diminishing returns after that). And I know it has a similar effect with women. After staring at each other for so long, its nice to get some fresh faces up in the joint. Just like Andy chose Buzz over Woody, we like our new toys.

toy story animated GIF

2. Lack of options - Hey if you are getting lonely and don't have a lot of options, just about anybody will do in a pinch. And what's more pinching than being a Mormon single adult. 

3. Urgency - In some ways, it is the opposite of newness. This is when the clock is ticking and time with each other is limited. Think of the semester ending, someone about move away, or someone about to leave on a mission. Everything moves fast and is exciting because time is so precious. Even if this person has been in the ward and available for months, we like to procrastinate. And even more than that everyone loves to have low-risk flings where if it doesn't work out, it won't matter because that person will be gone, but if it does work out, it will be a low maintenance option for the future/long distance relationship. Win-win!

judge judy animated GIF

4. Different than you and what you are use to - You have very little in common with this person and they are not like anyone you've dated before, and it excites the heck out of you (She's little bit country, I'm a little bit rock & roll, She's an uptown girl, I'm a downtown man, you get the picture). Sometimes they even don't have those annoying problems of the people you usually date, although that usually just means they have different problems you just don't know to look for yet.

napoleon dynamite animated GIF

5. Lack of availability - This person is unavailable and therefore we want them sooooooo bad! Its trite to say you always want what you can't have, but that doesn't make it any less true. Under normal, rational circumstances we might not even be interested in this person, but put them just outside our reach and we will go crazy for them.

red panda cant reach the door

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Connection between Fast Sunday and food related blog post maybe? hahaha