First let’s be clear, I'm very picky when it comes to girls. There are all kinds of attributes I look for in girls (for example: she needs to have a BMI of at most 7, an ACT score of at least 37, and exactly 10 fingers (All reasonable and quantifiably objective demands)).
Well that stuff is all fine and good but I learned a valuable lesson on my mission that has stuck with me to this day about the kind of girl I want to marry.
My first day at the MTC I was made the district leader of my district and I was only 18 at the time (this was before it was cool to go on your mission at 18). In my district were 3 companionships of elders (one of which was a threesome) and 2 companionships of sisters (one of which was a threesome). Something very stereotypical happened: the threesome of sisters did not get along. In fact, they hated each other. The other companionship of sisters also had problems, but nothing like those three. And I, the 18 year old straight out of high school, had to deal with their crap. IT WAS INSANITY I TELL YOU.
The biggest thing I took away from this experience was how each sister reacted to stress. They were all under stress from being separated from their friends/families/boyfriends, having to learn a new language, and deal with new people/rules/environments. That was understandable and legitimate. But thing is we were all in the same boat, we all were feeling the same stresses more or less, but different people reacted differently.
Three of the sisters seemed to be of the opinion that because they were stressed and having to do a hard thing, it was now everyone’s problem and everyone needed to suffer. It was license for them to be horrible to other people and hilariously selfish. Instead of trying to solve their problems or (heaven forbid) help others, they were hell bent on making everything worse.
It blew my mind. I was flabbergasted that people would act that way.
Two of the sisters were awesome. Not freaking out, actively trying to solve problems, not putting their problems above everyone else’s, trying to reach out their companions, helping others.
Now for the craziest part. For like the first week I thought all the sisters were awesome. I had no idea. I couldn't tell which ones were horrible and which ones were awesome.
End of story time.
Do you know how scary that is? As much as we all complain about dates, they are pretty low stress affairs. You don’t get to see the stressed out side of people very easily. The person has to be both comfortable with you and stressed out to show you their true colors. (Also, I know this a thing with both genders, although in my limited experience it seems to be more pronounced and scary (lolz, but really) in females).
The problem is finding what kind of person my date is before I get too involved with them. So far my strategy of purposely getting into a car “accident” on the first date has not been very effective due to a high fatality rate (it HAS turned out to be an effective test of who wears seatbelts (I DO!)) and besides it’s so darn expensive.
Okay that’s a lie, I have not resorted to manufacturing stress during dates, although it’s tempting. But I do actually welcome stressful situations on dates, because aren’t dates supposed to be for getting to know each other? Well take my word for it, you don’t know someone until you have seen them stressed.
Also, wear your seat belt. Always a good idea.