Do you guys remember my old flame Opera? No? Well here is a quick summary:
- I drafted her first overall in our ward draft over two years ago.
- Right before I ask her out I discover that she was engaged.
- About 6 months later, she moves into my ward(she had called off her engagement).
- We finally go on a date.
- We spend oodles of time together, I fall for her pretty hard.
- She leaves on a mission.
Well guess what! She’s coming back THIS FREAKING WEEK!!!!!
Ask me if I have written her faithfully? Why yes, yes I have. Ask me if we have basically given each other verbal promise rings? False, I sent her a real promise ring I forged myself out of the purest pig iron.
Okay so no rings were exchanged. Actually the letters we've exchanged were mostly of the friendly variety with a few romantic sprinkles thrown in for good measure. Like semi-vague plans have been made for stuff we are going to do together once she gets home, but nothing definite.
How do I feel about her coming home?
Somewhere between this:
Like I am super excited, but also out of mind nervous. I don’t know the best way to proceed.
Some of the thoughts currently racing through my head:
- People are super weird when they get home from their missions. Linguistically they can’t speak English straight, socially they can't interact with the opposite gender, spiritually they can be crazy strict, emotionally they are in who knows what state.
- I don’t want to just start dating her right away, I want her to experience the dating world/other guys before actually deciding on me. Does that make sense? I feel like she is ready to jump into a relationship with me, but who knows if she'll have second thoughts down the road if she does act so quickly? Although at the same time maybe I would be jealous if she does go out with other guys.
- I likewise don't want to commit to her too quickly. Not saying I am afraid committing in general, I’m not one of those guys that won’t commit. I just know people change, and its been almost 2 years. I was super into her before she left. I don't think I have ever had such a deep instant electric connection with anyone else. But I am afraid things have changed. Maybe our conversations will be awkward now, maybe I’m not attracted to her as much any more, maybe we are not equally yoked spiritually.
- We live far apart and I am crazy busy at the moment. So I am incapable of visiting her on a regular basis. So not sure how that is going to play out.
Wish me luck!