The Plan: So before Opera came home and before those wily "emotions" and "feelings" could took over my rational brain, I decided come up with a logically sound game plan for how to deal with Opera. The core components of this plan were as follows:
- Do not initiate communication with her for the first two weeks that she is back. Let her adjust and catch up with her family.
- When I do start communicating with her, I need to go slow and keep things casual and friendly (e.g. don't talk with her too frequently or for too long of a duration each time). Let it organically build back into something romantic. This will reduce any perceived pressure to quickly get serious or connect romantically; thereby keeping her (and me) from being scared off prematurely. Plus, I don't want to come off as desperate. Plus plus, I also don't want it all to come together too easily (people hate easy), there has to be some doubt and work to keep her interested.
- Put off seeing her in person for at least a month, preferably longer. Don't get me wrong, I wanted to see her immediately. But because at this point we live far away from one another, our first time seeing each other will likely make or break the whole thing. No one is going to continue to put energy into a long distance relationship they are not feeling and first impressions (of first impressions after 1.5 years) are key. The longer it takes to meet in person, the more time she'll have to become normal and the more time I will have to win her over with my charm in low risk situations.
Basically the idea is that this initial rekindling stage of our relationship is a particularly delicate period and the downside of rushing into things is much greater than the upside of rushing things.
Make sense? Of course it does, it was made with the logical part of my brain.
What actually happened: Less than a week after touchdown back in the ole US of A, Opera totally unexpectedly pinged me on Gchat. And all of a sudden my heart was like, "Do I go crazy now? You know what? I'm just going to go ahead and declare a RED ALERT and start beating freaking crazy now"
So we chatted for a while, exchanging pleasantries, giving brief updates, and planning to talk over the phone the next night (her idea). And you know what, that whole time I couldn't stop smiling like a gosh darn fool. Like I literally realized I was smiling, gave myself a stern look in the mirror, told myself to keep my cool, and then instantly and involuntarily went back to smiling.
Next night, she gives me a call. Again my cardiovascular system goes on red alert as soon as I saw her name pop up on my phone. But unexpected things two things happened (or didn't happen. 1) After a few minutes of talking, I actually stopped being nervous. 2) It was never awkward. I was sure it was going to eventually get awkward or bumpy or something. Instead it felt like we were picking up right where we had left it almost 2 years ago. Super unexpected. Super awesome.
After a few hours of talking I was still worried it couldn't last and decided to wrap up the call before it could go south. Before we said goodnight though we scheduled another call for today (again her instigating). So today we talk for 4 hours and it was magical. We even started completing each other sandwiches. The only bad part was her complaining to me that three different guys had already asked her out. THREE! Shes been home less than 2 weeks! Who are these jokers? I laughed and joked it off over the phone, but my inner Darla was all like:
Needless to say, my plan is working perfectly muhaha. No really its going to crap. The rational part of my brain still wants me to stick to The Plan. The other part of my brain wants to go with whatever plan Opera seems to be executing. I guess we'll see who wins.