Sunday, April 19, 2015

Attractiveness Or How Some Polynesian Tribes May Like Them Big

So things are going well with Opera. We've been talking every night and its going great.
If I am going to be totally honest though. There is one thing that still worries me about this whole situation.

Attraction.

I just don’t know if I’ll still be attracted to Opera. Like I've obviously seen pictures of her and Skyped with her since she’s been back, but you can never really tell you until are face to face, pheromone to pheromone.

It should be known that I do feel very bad that I am so concerned about appearance. I really do feel bad. I really do wish I didn't care what a girl looked like or what her body type is. But the unfortunate truth is I do care.

And people will say that because I like girls that look a certain way that I have been brainwashed by the modern media, and that 100 years ago people found real women with real curves attractive, and that in some Polynesian tribes being overweight is still actually considered to be pretty freaking hot. 



All that may very well be true, but it doesn't change crap. The die has been cast, at this point I like what I like.

Here’s the thing though. I understand girls have image and body issues, and I am sympathetic to that and I do believe it is a serious issue. Boys (even myself included (just a little bit)) also have these issues, if only to a lesser degree. But the thing is, girls are thinking about it all wrong.

I’ll let you in on a little secret: Every guys defines “attractive” different.

I've had roommates be smitten by girls that I was absolutely not attracted to. Likewise I've considered girls to be attractive that some of my roommates did not find attractive at all. Our tastes and opinions when it came to physical appearance of girls were all over the board.

So why does that even matter? A million sit-ups, better lips, better hair, or anything else you could stress out about concerning your physical appearance will not make every guy find you attractive. You are never going to please everyone. You just aren't. Perfection does not exist.

Everyone would do better to focus less on that fact that someone somewhere probably finds them unattractive and more on finding the people that do appreciate their appearance.

You may not be able to get rid your big ol’ (insert body part here) you hate, but chances are there are guys that either like them or at least don’t care (now whether you find those guys attractive is a different issue). I genuinely believe that there is someone for basically everyone – attraction wise.

Yes there are things you can do that will increase the percentage of people that find you attractive (being in shape, dressing nice, having a hair-lip, etc). Maybe “Skinny” girls might get more dates than others or whatever, but to say only skinny girls get dates is simply not true.

Also to say guys only care about physical appearance when it comes to attraction is also completely untrue. I have been friends with some gorgeous paid model type girls that I never desired to ask out. Personally, a girl's intellect, vitality, sense of humor, kindness and Bō staff skills all play a big part into how attracted I am in her (and if you think I'm joking about the Bō staff, you've never seen a real woman work a traditional rokushakubō) . But again it’s the sad truth that intellect and vitality are only going to get me part of the way there (at the beginning) and I have to be attracted to her. I want to want to drawn near to her, and want to touch her, and want to kiss her.

When she walks by I want to be like:

Damn Girl


Is that too much to ask for? I think not. I hope not, because that is exactly what I’m asking for here with Opera.

I know people get old and fat, I know people have kids and health issues. Beauty fades and beauty is only skin deep and all those other truisms. But I need a spark, something to get the flame of love started.