So that was just the first day. The second day was a little more relaxed. A fun filled day with her family, seeing the sights, bowling, going to the movies (while we were at the movies a random family that are friends with Opera’s family came up to all meet and talk to me, and apparently they knew I was coming that weekend and that I would be at the movies at that exact second. Nope. Not creepy at all.) and other wholesome activities. Which was fine, but I kinda itching for some alone time with the girl. I love chaperones as much as the next guy, but at some point you want a little privacy.
My wish was granted briefly right before dinner and we stole away to her bedroom for a few minutes. We sat on the floor facing each other with our legs extended, our shoes touching, joking about some old posters of boy bands on her walls. The conversation quickly took a serious tone as I decided to abandon my previous designs and start jumping the gun.
I could not help it any more. I wanted to date her and I made that clear to her. If I remember correctly, I pointed straight at her and said “I want to date …(then pausing briefly for effect before yelling)….YOU!” I like to make sure these type of things are all crystal clear.
Instead of reciprocating my crystal clearness, Opera equivocated and asked if we could wait to discuss that after dinner when we could have more time and privacy. Which I guess is fair. Although I would have preferred her just throwing herself on me and shouting “TAKE ME!” That would have been ideal. That's how imagined it would go. Oh well, I was willing to settle for a “to be continued”.
We had dinner, it was delicious thank you for asking, and then we hopped into her car and drove to a secluded spot overlooking the city, think prime make out real estate. Although I did not expect that to be in the cards. Sigh.
Again we idly chat and laugh for a bit while listening to cheesy old love songs on the radio, both of us avoiding the impending DTR. Eventually she starts by saying that she really likes me but she just is afraid of several things, including:
1) Long distance: She never wanted to be in a long distance relationship, because they suck. Really, who does want to be in one? But it would be inevitable for us, at least at first.
2) My career: My chosen career projects to be very intense in the short term. She never wanted to be the wife just waiting around at home for her husband all the time. Which she definitely would be for at least a few years if she ever got married to me.
3) Level of strictness: She just got off her mission and is still hitting that handbook hard. To the point that her family kept complaining all weekend about how judgmental/uptight she had become. Let’s just say I do not match her uptightness, although I am sure she will mellow out.
4) Overall comfort level with relationships: Apparently, she worked for a long time at a place that made her hear all kinds of marriage horror stories and so is generally weary of marriage in general. YAY!
So that all sounds bad, but I think everyone has doubts and insecurities when they first start relationships, I think the difference with us is that we are close enough and open enough with each other to actually say them to each other.
When it was my turn I told her that I had fears and doubts too, but I didn’t care, I still wanted to date her. She said she still wanted to date me too. And just like that, boom we were dating.
Honestly, it was a little anti-climatic haha. I thought it was going to be harder, more dramatic than that. I had already started thinking of counter arguments to all her reservations and I was mentally prepared to state my case.
So once we established that we were officially dating, it was time to consummate our union with some physical displays of affection (if you know what I mean, yeah that’s right, I’m talking about a CMO (committal make out)). Truth be told though I was terrified of kissing her. I had never been more scared to kiss a girl. I think it was a combination of what felt to be super high stakes, her recent returned missionary-ness, the feeling in the back of my head that she still wasn’t convinced, and the awkward set up of the car we were in (I swear it felt like she was a mile away). She actually made the first move by grabbing my hand. Besides that though she wasn’t giving me any of the normal signs girls give guys that subtly let the guy know its okay to proceed (you know, like biting their lip while winking at me). Honestly it was like the mission had made her forgot how to girl.
After an embarrassingly long and nerve wracking time I finally went for it, giving her the slight heads up (just in case she was going to freak out) by saying as I leaned in “I want to kiss you”. I was a mess. But I was mess that was finally dating Opera.