Tuesday, September 22, 2015

7 Awesome Things About Being Single Again

Sorry for not posting for a while. Things have been crazy but I wanted to give you all an update on how I’m doing being single again. Spoiler alert, I’m loving it. Below are some of the many reasons why:

1. Financial savings: ChapStick® costs are down (I only use the real stuff). Also, movie ticket costs are way down! Did you know you can actually go to a movie by yourself? No really, it’s totally allowed at most establishments. It’s like half the price! Not to mention it’s much easier to find seats, no more silly arguments on where to sit (I’m a “front row, two seats to the right” type of guy myself). It also turns out to be a lot more comfortable sobbing uncontrollable in the theater when you are alone (Double Bonus!). That reminds me, I should probably note that some of these cost saving are being offset in an accompanying rise in tissue expenditure. But don’t worry, net-net I’ve been coming out way ahead.       
2. Increased desire to be social: For some reason, I’m actually going to all these church social events for singles, which is weird because I was somehow totally ignoring them before. I went to a church dance the other day did the Cotton Eyed Joe line dance twice! They actually only played the song once, but I was so psyched doing the dance of my people the first time that I did it again during the next song, just for the heck of it. (It was really weird when this shirtless guy started doing it with me instead of just slow dancing like everyone else, not cool dude)

3. Meet new people: I’ve met a ton of girls who are 18. Which is awesome, except every time I’ve gotten a weird feeling about them. Not sure what’s going on there. I also met a girl who is 23. She told me she has 10 cats! That has to be some kind of record. At first I didn't believe her, but the smell of cat piss really sold me.
cats animated GIF

4. Increased dedication to journaling: Apparently no one else cares to know everything that happened to me that day.

5. New motivation to finish old tasks that had fallen by the wayside: I finally found out what happened to Sherlock when he jumped off that roof, who the mother was in How I Met Your Mother, and why everyone has been talking about Breaking Bad. It’s crazy how much you can get done with enough free-time and dedication.

6. Rediscovered old hobbies/skills: Turns out I’m really good at determining if I would be happy dating a girl based solely on: her Facebook profile picture, her senior prom pictures, what level she is on Farmville, and what bands she has liked. Also, I haven't done it yet, but I'm really looking forward to going on first dates again. Like VERY looking forward to it.

7. No more annoying people scratching your back gently yet firmly during church – Because I hated when that happened and it definitely was not the best thing ever that sent me to a barely conscious state of nirvana.

1 comment:

Elizabeth Downie said...

How old are you? Inquiring minds want to know.